


Paranoid Egotist & His Sunshine

by Michevalier



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS
Genre: Angst, But it's very prominent nonetheless, Depression, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Hotdogshipping, M/M, Mild Horror, Right?, Shosaku, Some other characters are mentioned btw, Suicide thoughts, The romance part might not be the main focus, This fic was a bit hard to write, Using the famous theory about Shoichi's brother being certain someone, You've probably guessed who already, speculation fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-10 07:01:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11686476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Michevalier/pseuds/Michevalier
Summary: Shoichi had always been supporting and  protecting Yusaku, his confidant, his companion, best friend and beloved one. Yusaku was his everything, his Sunshine that rescued him from the darkness long time ago. So Shoichi tried to do his best to repay him by making him happy. But that striving was also something that had been keeping the man up at night, not only because he was patrolling the net. Nightmares were plaguing his mind, worms were eating on his heart, and all because of something that Shoichi prefered to keep hidden from his most precious person...





	Paranoid Egotist & His Sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> I have finally finished it! Geez, that was harder than I expected considering all my speculations about possible history between Shoichi and Yusaku. I hope my variation of the timeline is not too messy! I wonder when will the canon give us their story? I'm dying to know!

"I feel better now, really," Yusaku mumbled half-heartedly.

"No way, you silly," Shoichi protested as he held the boy close. "You're too worn-out. I'm taking you home right now. At least for tonight I'm sure Ai wouldn't run anywhere, right?"

"I had no such plans," the AI who was now in his true form and with legs crossed his arms and frowned a bit. "And you, Yusaku, stop being a donkey and listen to Kusanagi."

Yusaku glared at the little guy but said nothing, he was too exhausted after his fight with the leader of the Knights of Hanoi, Revolver.

"You need some good sleep," Shoichi nodded and not thinking for another moment picked the boy up, carrying him bridal style.

"Kusanagi-san!" Yusaku suddenly blushed and wrapped his arms around the man's neck, making their eyes meet, as they were about to leave their truck. "Is this necessary?"

"I've told you several times already," Shoichi sighed. "The duel was fierce and you must..."

"No," the boy didn't let him finish as he averted his emerald eyes and whispered. "I mean, do you need to hold me this way?"

Now it was Shoichi's turn to blush brightly. Oh yes, he sure remembered that one time when he was carrying Yusaku like this to his apartment and neighbors were side-eyeing them. It was definitely awkward as hell. 

"Hm, right," Shoichi cleared his throat. "Nevertheless..."

"Nevertheless you're not letting me go."

Shoichi flinched and felt his cheeks growing even hotter as Yusaku smiled at him briefly with his eyes a bit narrowed and half-closed, truly a look of a satisfied baby fox.

"I couldn't care less about what these people might think, you know that well," the boy yawned, already so drowsy. "That's why let's just hurry and take a shower before slumber."

Shoichi complied and entered the shabby house. Luckily, it was already late enough so no other tenants were seen. It was quiet and only dirty yellowish dim light of a single bulb accompanied Shoichi as he carried Yusaku upstairs. Now full-bodied and thus even more cheeky Ai shamelessly set on the boy's head or pretended to be sitting, whatever. When they reached the needed apartment Yusaku was standing on his own feet again and, having found a rusty key, opened the creaky door, though the process of dealing with the damn lock took about a minute due to the boy's sleepiness and stubbornness about accepting any help.

"Well," Shoichi shrugged as they finally entered the dwelling, "I hope this time there _is_ hot water."

He was referring to the unfortunate fact that there often were problems with water heating in this run-down building. 

"Don't worry," Yusaku's voice accompanied by the noise of water running was already heard from the bathroom. "It's okay for now, if we do it quickly we might make it before it disappears again."

Shoichi started undressing and leaving his clothes on the boy's chair. It was nothing new for him to wash himself at Yusaku's place. For quite awhile Shoichi had been having certain problems with his own accommodation, but his job as a food vendor and overall a simple hygiene required him to be as clean and tidy as possible. Thus, the man would always go to his friend's apartment, Shoichi was the one who was paying the rent by the way, in order to take a shower.

"Yusaku?" he asked before sliding the shower cabin's door aside. "I'm going in."

"Yeah," the answer was clearly heard despite the noise of water.

Shoichi entered the cabin and immediately felt his face being struck by enormous heat, and not only because of all that hot steam. Yusaku was facing away from him, having slightly thrown his head back under rapidly running jets of water. Drops as large as beads were sliding down his white skin, the boy's whole posture was akin to an elegant sculpture made of marble. Every inch of this body, every curve as if was carved by the hand of a talented artist. So strong and fragile was Yusaku, so innocent and alluring at the same time... Shoichi gulped. There was never anything weird about him and this boy bathing together. It was totally normal for them, two guys, and they would always face away from each other while at it. But as Yusaku started turning into a grown young man...

"Kusanagi-san?" a voice dragged Shoichi out of his confused thoughts as his eyes met with emerald ones. "Is something wrong?"

"A-ah, nothing," the man shook his head and stepped under shower himself, turning away from Yusaku and hiding his flushed face at the same time. "Never mind."

Yusaku kept staring at his friend for a moment, the person in question felt the gaze on his own skin, but then returned to washing himself. Shoichi sighed quietly with relief as he scrubbed his arms, but after a couple of minutes a hiss of pain behind his back made him shudder.

"Yusaku?!" the man abruptly turned over, having forgotten all his previous awkwardness. The boy, hissing, wrapped his arms around his chest, his face was indeed contorted with pain. "Hey! What happened?!"

Shoichi put his hands on the boy's shoulders, and Yusaku moved his arms, letting the man see bruises on his chest.

"Wha..? What are those?" utterly confused Shoichi kept staring at lots of bluish marks on pallid skin.

"Mm," Yusaku looked to the side. "Zaizen Akira..."

There was no need in further explanation. Shoichi frowned as he remembered how was SOL Security Manager torturing the boy. That trap Playmaker was put into, those monstrous clutches that were squeezing, crushing him, those screams so full of agony...

"Looks bad," Shoichi as careful as he could examined his friend's chest, lightly pressing his fingertips at problematic spots. "Hey," he looked up at the boy as he winced again, "if this hurts so much, I'll take you to hospital. If there are any broken ribs..."

"No, Kusanagi-san," Yusaku shook his head. "There is no need. It's okay, those are only bruises and they are not that painful. It'll get better soon enough."

"But this is..."

"I'm telling you, It's _alright_ ," the boy emphasized the last word by raising his voice a bit. "There is nothing to worry about. It's just..."

"What is it?" Shoichi blinked, looking at Yusaku's cheeks tinted pink and the way he bit his lower lip.

"Uh... Forget it. Everything is fine."

The boy turned away from his friend and resumed cleaning himself. Shoichi was watching him for a few moments and then did the same.

When they both left the bathroom and went down into the room, Ai was already sleeping, or at least pretending to be, on top of Yusaku's duel disc. The boy himself sat down on bed and kept on wiping his still moist hair with his towel.

"Are you going to sleep in the truck, Kusanagi-san?" he asked, looking up at the man.

"Just as always," he chuckled, combing his own hair.

Shoichi probably not fully realized how carefree and trivial his tone was. Yes, Cafe Nagi was his home sweet home for quite a while, so was there something unusual in the question? There was, because somehow he failed to notice that slight shadow that appeared on Yusaku's face.

"Well," the boy said quietly, looking to the side. "How about if you stay here tonight? With me?"

"Huh?"

Shoichi was taken aback. He looked at his friend and saw those big eyes becoming watery and glimmering.

"Yusaku..." the sight made the man's heart skip a beat. He put away his comb and sat on bed too. "What's wrong?"

The boy pursed his lips, seemingly hesitating to talk, but Shoichi's arm that was tightly wrapped around his shoulder forced him to.

"I'm..." he whispered. "I'm sorry."

"What's gotten into you?" the man frowned, something disturbing he saw in that almost absent facial expression of his friend.

"It's..." Yusaku dug his nails into his own knees. "You must be angry at me, right? For what I had done. I'm a bad boy, huh?"

The boy took a pause, saying nothing more, but, fortunately, Shoichi was the rare man who managed to learn how to read him like an open book. Thus, he briefly smiled, tightened his grip on Yusaku's shoulders, pulling him and making them snuggle even closer together.

"Don't say that. You've done everything well, hero. You did save the girl."

"But..." the boy bit his lips, remembering everything that happened during his fight against Revolver. "I could have failed. I almost lost Ai too. If that had happened, everything we went through would have been..."

Suddenly, Yusaku was silenced when he received a flick in his forehead, a painful one.

"Well, you did shatter my nerves, that's true," Shoichi sighed in exaggerated manner. "This is what I get when I have a stubborn mule such as yourself by my side."

Yusaku huffed, rubbing his poor forehead and blushing out of shame.

"So you _are_ angry?" he did not ask, he affirmed that.

"To the extent that I wanna spank you? Yeah, perhaps I am then."

Such a perspective made Yusaku unwillingly shudder, but Shoichi quickly eased the atmosphere as he laughed.

"Don't you worry though. It won't happen cause I find spanking a young man of your age too inappropriate."

"Kusanagi-san!" Yusaku couldn't help but chuckle himself as he pushed the laughing man down on the mattress and fell along with him. Ai frowned as he opened his eyes and saw the two rolling around playfully and messing the bed sheets.

" _Eh, whatever,_ " Ignis turned onto the other side, falling asleep again.

Childish fooling around continued for a couple more minutes and ended when Yusaku rolled on top of Shoichi, basically pinning him down to the mattress.

"Kusanagi-san," now his eyes were sparkling with joy and Shoichi could feel the boy's heart racing like a puppy as their chests were tightly pressed together. "Please, sleep with me tonight."

"Honestly, Yusaku," Shoichi sighed. "What's this all about? You will be an adult in a blink of and eye, and yet you..."

He was suddenly forced to shut up by a pair of soft lips tightly pressing against his own.

"What?" Yusaku chuckled as he pulled away, his eyes were narrowed like those of a cunning fox, his voice was especially deep and a bit husky. "You‘ve just said it yourself, I'll be a fucking adult in a blink of an eye, so don't stare at me like this."

"But still..." Shoichi's face flushed as his friend nuzzled into his neck, brushing his nose against hot sweaty skin.

"Stop that. We've been like this for almost two months."

Shoichi turned his face away, looking to the side. It was true, Yusaku indeed confessed his feelings to him just that long ago. Yusaku who had been a friend, a companion, a confidant, heck, almost like a brother to Shoichi, and nevertheless he still had...

"I love you," he said that again, kissing the man's lips and resting his head on his chest. "You're the only one for me. If you weren't here by my side, I wouldn't have been able to go this far, to be this brave. I know that I'm a nuisance to you. Forgive me, please."

"Silly," Shoichi closed his eyes and ruffled the boy's hair, kissed the top of his head. "Saying such things."

But Yusaku never heard him saying this, he was already peacefully sleeping on the man's chest, lulled by his heartbeat. Shoichi only quietly chuckled and carefully moved them into more comfortable position as they were now laying next to each other. As blanket were put on top of them Kusanagi held the boy close in a protective manner.

The digits on electronic alarm clock were dimly illuminating the night, measuring it to be almost 2 A.M. already, as the two hackers were already deeply submerged in their dreams.

 _Dreams_. Heh, how naive.

Baku the Dream Eater had a good feast made of nightmares.

~~~

A terrifying dark creature wrapped its tentacles around Playmaker's frail body before crushing it, breaking it in halves and biting off the head. Not digital particles, real blood gushed out, splattering right onto the camera, spraying the computer screen crimson. Even being in the real world Kusanagi could smell that sickening stench which was accompanied by gross sounds of chewing the fresh meat. Paralyzed, the man could do nothing but cover his mouth with his shivering hand as rivers of tears were streaming down his pallid cheeks. Nausea was rapidly building up and finally found its way out as bones cracked apart as if they were just branches of a young tree...

Shoichi woke up, having barely managed to hold back a scream and panting. He was literally drenched with his own cold sweat as he turned his head back and fourth. His wild heart rate normalized as soon as he realized that he was in Yusaku's apartment and the boy himself was sleeping right beside him, safe and sound.

"Oh Baku-san, come eat my dream," Shoichi repeated it three times, kissing Yusaku's both cheeks and lips, as he prayed to the said supernatural being.

The boy kept on serenely sleeping. This made Shoichi smile. At least his beloved was safe in his dreams.

The man gently stroked his lover's hair with his hand and then lower lip with his thumb. Yusaku's sleeping face... Shoichi truly admired its tranquility, it was so beautiful right now. So beautiful, so precious... _really_ precious.

Shoichi bit his lip.

They sure had come the long and exhausting way in order to achieve this. When Yusaku was younger, the problem of his rest was extremely acute. Shoichi could still remember it so vividly: a small child who was thrashing around in his sleep, loudly crying, screaming something incoherent and sometimes scratching himself as if he were fighting some monsters attacking him. Even though those creatures existed only inside his nightmares the boy would still often wake up with his arms and legs scratched and bleeding. The sight of it was so terrible that Shoichi could not just refuse and not sleep next to the kid. And whenever Yusaku would flounce about as if he were possessed by demons Shoichi would always grab him, hold him close and with his own body heat exorcise all the evil from within the small body. But funny thing, eventually they also started sharing those nightmares, almost as if sharing one bed they also shared one consciousness. They would both thrash about like possessed but as soon as they would fall into each other's arms, all bad dreams would vaporize like smoke.

Suddenly, Yusaku snorted and got on top of Shoichi again, his hands gripping onto the man's shoulders, his head resting on his chest. Kusanagi quietly chuckled. Halcyon face of the sleeping boy somehow reminded him about tamed panthers.

That's right. A panther. A wild cat who prefers company of only one person and would rather stay aloof. A fierce predator who would tear apart any enemy within his view. That was whom Fujiki Yusaku resembled the most. Beware, Knights of Hanoi...

As Shoichi submerged himself into poetic similes, the boy started purring as if he was indeed a kitten. This was what made the man's heart melt completely as he lovingly stroked Yusaku's head. Ah, this pal barely had an idea what a revelation was this to Shoichi, or, rather, the man did tell him about how cute his purring was and even recorded it once on his phone. Of course, flustered Yusaku denied it with the passion of a criminal who was caught red-handed.

Criminals. Caught. Red-handed.

This three words erased the brief smile from Shoichi's lips, making him frown.

The alarm clock was displaying almost 4 A.M., it was still dark outside. But Kusanagi knew this too well, as soon as the sun would rise, the new day would begin. New day, new fight, new struggling for their hacker duo.

Yusaku nuzzled softly into Shoichi's chest, and the man remembered something else about kittens. Back when he was a kid he had one. Tiny kitty with fluffy bluish black fur and bright green eyes, a pink ribbon with a big bow was around its neck. Little Shoichi loved his cute friend so much, but there was a moment which the boy remembered even after growing up into an adult he was now. That kitty, playing, was chasing a butterfly and it happened so that he ran onto the road... Screeching of wheels, a child running to grab his little friend, a kitty who managed to avoid being hit by that enormous truck. Luckily, everything ended on a good note, but that incident left a big impact on Shoichi's consciousness. The boy became so paranoid about his friend's safety, so, in order to protect him, from that day on he would put the kitty on a leash. Yes, a cat. On a leash. An animal who was never meant to be restrained like this. No wonder that Shoichi's kitty would often twirl around, utterly confused. No wonder that one day when the boy looked away for a moment his friend ran away. After all, he was never supposed to be put on that leash...

To be honest, it was the same with Yusaku, a grown-up Shoichi knew that all too well. If there was another thing about the boy that resembled a cat then it was not only his purring.

Shoichi clearly realized that what they were doing, their war against Knights of Hanoi was way too dangerous for Yusaku, no matter how brave and mature he was. There were times when Shoichi seriously considered, just like back in his childhood regarding his kitty, to protect the boy from everything, to leave him out of their mutual fight. Alas, and this thought painfully cut through the man's heart, he knew it would make things only worse. Yusaku was not just a small domestic cat, he was a prideful furious panther, an emissary of revenge as he called himself during his duel against Revolver. Thus, no leash would help to hold back such a savage hero.

And that was what frustrated Kusanagi Shoichi the most, that feeling was akin to acid ruthlessly eating up his mind.

He _could not_ protect Yusaku completely.

And this realization was indoctrinating Shoichi's soul like a deadly venom.

He. Could. Not. Protect. Yusaku.

It was too bitter to apprehend, but he knew that if he _truly_ wanted to protect that boy he would have to cut off all of his limbs, tie him up so tightly so that his body would become absolutely numb and brick him up in the deepest, darkest dungeon.

Sounds like the best way out, right?

Wrong.

Because Shoichi would have never done that to Yusaku.

Because what he feared the most was a glimmer of anger and distrust and hatred in those beautiful emerald eyes.

Because Yusaku was reckless but willing to get himself torn apart, crushed, electrified, burned, drowned, chocked, hanged, shot, stabbed or impaled without a second thought and at any moment.

"All for the sake of my revenge!" the boy would often proclaim with a fiery confidence.

" _All for the sake of my revenge..._ " Shoichi would always echo him in his thoughts.

Thus, a dilemma with no solution.

Thus, a never-ending cycle.

Thus, Shoichi's brain intoxicated with deep anxiety that was violently rushing through his shaken nerves and poisoning his dreams.

A tight knot appeared in the man's chest, complicating his breath as he tried to exhale. He could already feel salt on the tip of his tongue as his vision became blurred. And yet Shoichi could not allow himself to break down, not when this boy was right there, in his arms, even though unconscious. Hell, Shoichi could _never_ whine in front of Yusaku. That was his very personal mantra.

His heart was aching though. Every time that memory, Playmaker being blasted in the face by Varrel Load, resurfaced, Shoichi was ready to scream. His emotions were rambled, his heart was ready to burst, his eyes rapidly became watery. And how many times Shoichi felt paralyzed as panic was eating on him? Each and every time when he couldn't see his friend and beloved because of cut off circuits? That white noise was so irritating, Shoichi was even hallucinating that it was taunting him on purpose.

_You. Can. Not. Save. Yusaku._

_While. You. Are. Trying. To. Fix. The. Damn. Connection._

_He. Is. Probably. Getting. Killed._

That imaginary mockery was resonating with each heart beat.

And as it was Kusanagi Shoichi's mind was declining into the real insanity.

 _"Why?!_ " he was internally screaming. " _Why the hell do you even have to be there, Yusaku?!_ "

No, Shoichi was never a heartless man, but still his logic and a bit of selfishness that is natural for every human being were refusing to understand that completely. Was Blue Angel aka Zaizen Aoi really _his_ responsibility? Yes, the decision of rescuing her showed nothing but Yusaku's big and golden heart, but, emotions aside, logically it was totally incomprehensible. The boy could have lost more than just Ai for whom they both were looking after for some time and it took efforts to capture him. Actually, to hell with Ai who was also the key element of their mission. Yusaku could have lost not just the duel, but his very _life_. He could have suffered enough mental damage to fall into a coma himself, damn, the boy _did_  actually get those _real_ bruises thanks to enraged Zaizen Akira and his torturing. And for what did Yusaku even go right into that trap? For the sake of a girl he barely interacted with. No, at the end of the day Playmaker became a true hero for saving her and defeating such a formidable opponent as Revolver. Shoichi undoubtedly was full of pride and joy, but... the thought that he could lose him forever...

Shoichi grit his teeth as he held sleeping Yusaku tightly in his arms.

No... There was _no way_ he would have been okay with losing this boy!

Yusaku was _way_ too important to Shoichi.

He cared for him. He adored him. He _loved_ him, for god's sake!

And yet, as soon as the sun would rise, instead of trying to protect him, keep him _away_ from it, Shoichi would be forced to _throw_ this precious person into the raging flames of their war against Hanoi all over again.

Why?

Well, Yusaku had his own reasons as well as Shoichi had his personal motives.

Very personal motives. _Ulterior motives_.

~~~

Long ago Kusanagi Shoichi's life was perfect. He was a happy child growing in a family that was called a picturesque example of what a perfect family was in their society. And what an intelligent family it was: a father who was a prominent scientist, a mother who was the head doctor of a tiny local neuropsychiatry clinic and two sons who would often bicker between themselves but, nevertheless, both of them were very smart boys who would get only the best marks in school. 

Their family was very loving and happy. Even though their parents were often quite busy the boys never felt lack of love and care. Back in those days the sky would always seem clear and sunny regardless of what was the real weather like outside. Yes, there were times when young Shoichi seriously thought that those blissful days would last forever...

Everything started to change when his father became involved in a project that his employers, SOL Technologies company, had initiated. They began developing a system without which the current Dueling Industry simply could not exist. Yes, the name of it was LINK VRAINS, the entire virtual reality world made for dueling and entertainment. To tell the truth, at the very beginning of it Shoichi was truly existed about it. The concept was practically utopian, and both he and his younger brother could not wait until it was fully developed. The boys were upset only about one thing though, the great amount of this work made their father spend even lesser time with them.

And ever since then the clear skies of their carefree life started getting covered with more and more grey clouds. The more their father became submerged into his work, the more their mother became neurotic. Their once perfect family life was getting less and less perfect. And one day it was ruined completely.

Shoichi could still remember those grey, raining days when mother filled divorce papers, took him and his younger brother and left their father for good and without looking back. And the most terrifying and incomprehensible for young Shoichi was the fact that father was... absolutely okay with that. The boy could never forget that grey, blank face when their mother was practically dragging them away. Shoichi's heart was in pain, his little brother was crying, but that man showed no sign of emotion. It almost seemed as if he didn't care at all...

Their family which was cut down to only three of them moved away. When the divorce was final Shoichi's parents sold their family house and shared the money: mother bought a small apartment where the three of them started living, as for father... well, Shoichi only knew that he moved somewhere else too and that's it, for some reason their mother prohibited him and his brother from contacting him in any way.

Even though it was incomprehensible and painful for him Shoichi was obedient to his mother. She firmly refused to talk about the cause of their former life falling apart, but something was telling the boy that her obvious anxiety and neurosis didn't appear out of nowhere, so for the sake of her health he listened to her and did his best to try and move on with his life. 

It was the opposite with his little brother though. He shared a very close bond with their father and was his favorite, he used to even help him out with his research from time to time. Thus, when the divorce happened and he was torn from dad, he became deeply depressed. The boy estranged himself from his older brother and would often fight with his mother whenever their father was brought up. Mother would yell at her younger son, younger son would yell at his mother, and, of course, since older brother was on mother's side he would yell at his younger brother. Yes, scandals, having taken shadows' guise, settled down in their new home. After another argument mother would always cry, Shoichi would try to comfort her and his little bro would just lock himself in his room and curl up in a corner, staring into space with his empty, glazed eyes.

And as if this amount of darkness was not enough in their life, one day it got even worse.

That morning was unusually bright and sunny, Shoichi even forgot when was the last time he saw his mother being that cheerful over such a simple thing as sunbeams illuminating their grey and dull apartment. It almost seemed that the day was blessed to pass by without any fight, at least Shoichi was desperately hoping for it. But as soon as mother went to wake up his younger brother...

No, that was a  _lie_.

That day was not blessed with joy. 

That day was cursed and led their life into another circle of hell.

That was the day when Kusanagi Shoichi's little brother vanished into thin air.

And yeah, he hadn't been found up to these days.

And yeah, that was the day when Shoichi's mother's fragile heart started to slowly break into pieces.

At first though it wasn't noticeable at all. The poor woman would try to do everything in her powers to contact her ex-husband. Yes, she was _sure_ it was him who took away, kidnapped her child. Unfortunately, everything turned out to be in vain as neither father nor son were not found anywhere in Den City and local police was just useless. Shoichi tried his best to help his mother, but soon enough he also realized the hopelessness of the situation.

Ever since then their life became even more unbearable. Their days were not just grey, there were colored black as despair rooted deep in their hearts. As Shoichi watched his forlorn mom becoming prematurely old with each passing day he also felt his own insanity growing, crawling inside him like a bunch of disgusting worms that would eat away his mind inch by inch.

So gross.

That depression, those "worms" inside the boy's body were disturbing him so much that he could feel them physically, right under his skin, irritating, itching.

Sometimes, when there were barely any powers left to endure it and a razor in Shoichi's hand... Everything could have become so good again, his soul could have finally rested in peace, but... no, the boy never had enough courage to actually resolve his problems in _that_ way.

And you know what?

Shoichi thanked all the gods he knew for this.

Because had it been the other way around, he would have never met a sunshine.

Wrong.

_The Sunshine._

A tiny ray of light appeared amidst Shoichi's darkness and took on the appearance of a young kid with big emerald eyes.

Those adorable but such mournful eyes unwillingly made the older boy's heart flutter.

The kid's name was Fujiki Yusaku. This was one of the very few things that a small patient of mother's neuropsychiatry clinic could remember about himself. Shoichi could remember vividly how they crossed their paths on that gloomy rainy day. The older boy came to see his mother while she was at work. Usually, mother was a bit irritated about this since she was usually quite busy, but that time it was surprisingly okay. The first thing Shoichi noticed were nurses running around as if they were looking for something, and, as the boy was told by his mom, it was exactly as it seemed. Apparently, a new patient, a little child, went missing as soon as one of the nurses in charge of him looked away for a moment. Shoichi's mother was very tense as anything could have happened to the kid, so she ordered everyone who were not on their duty back then to search for the missing boy. Shoichi himself offered his help too as he couldn't bear seeing his mom even more nervous than she usually was, thus, having received a description of the kid's appearance, the boy ran off to look for him right away.

The little patient was nowhere to be found inside, so Shoichi was forced to look outside. Raindrops were gradually wetting the ground as the wind was eerily howling among trees. Shoichi examined almost the entire courtyard and, having found nothing, was ready to run back inside. But all of a sudden he flinched as he heard something rustling nearby.

It was a big and thick shrubbery near the building wall. Having listened closer, Shoichi caught someone's quiet sobbing, whimpering and wheezing. Not thinking for another second, the boy rushed right into those shrubs. As a result his school uniform got dirty and torn, but Shoichi forgot about that the moment he saw him.

A little boy curled up like a kitten was leaning against the brick wall surrounded by spiky shrubbery. The child was holding his small fists close to his big eyes brimming with tears, his cheeks were completely wet, his lips were trembling as he was looking up at the older boy. That tiny kid was shivering himself too, making Shoichi's heart stop for a moment. The younger boy was so pallid, almost translucent, but the older boy suddenly felt as if a pair of pure sunlight beams was hidden in the kid's tear-drenched eyes.

Indeed, the Sunshine that took the form of a lost kitten.

" _Thank goodness!_ " young Shoichi couldn't hold back a radiant smile as he sloppily rubbed some mud off his face. " _At last I've found you, Yusaku. Hide and seek is my specialty._ "

The small child for reasons unknown to the older boy cried even more.

~~~

When the morning sun started shining right into Yusaku's face the boy groaned. As he tried, not yet opening his eyes, to feel Shoichi next to him but never found the man he frowned. But suddenly smell of something tasty and painfully familiar made Yusaku wake up fully.

"Good morning, sleepy-head," Shoichi was approaching him smiling.

"Morning," the boy rubbed his eyes as he sat in bed.

"Have you slept well?"

"Maybe," Yusaku yawned as the man sat on the edge of the bed. "I saw a dream of us younger playing hide and seek."

"You did?"

Shoichi didn't show that outrightly, but he was amazed. Apparently, some hidden circuits connecting people's dreams existed after all.

"Yeah," the boy yawned again as he finally noticed the source of that delicious smell. Shoichi was holding a tray. "Breakfast?"

"In bed," the man chuckled. "My princess."

"Hey," Yusaku pouted. "I'm not a princess."

"Okay-okay, I'm sorry. Foxy? Kitty?"

"You," the boy's expression went dark. "First, I'm not an animal, I'm a human. Second, don't you _ever_ dare call me any of that again. And third..."

He beckoned Shoichi to lean closer to him, and the man, having gulped, did just that and got... a gentle peck on the corner of his lips.

"And third, this is so romantic. Thank you, Kusanagi-san."

Shoichi's eyes widened as he looked at Yusaku's tender, rare smile, but he held himself together and smirked.

"Your welcome, human."

Yusaku chuckled quietly and took the tray with hot dogs, french fries and coffee.

"But you know," Shoichi scratched the back of his head as Yusaku had done eating and put the tray away, "you really need to eat something else than fast-food."

"Fine, next time do me some miso soup, plea..."

"What's wrong?" shade of concern appeared on Shoichi's face as Yusaku's brief mischievous grin was replaced by grimace of discomfort and the boy hissed.

"My legs," he rubbed them through the blanket. "So numb, I can barely move or feel them."

"Is that so..?" Shoichi frowned, he was almost sure that the cause was yesterday's duel. "Give them here, Yusaku."

The boy moved a bit further as his friend held his legs and started carefully rubbing them with his fingers.

"Medical massage," Shoichi explained, thoughtfully pressing at certain spots.

"Yes. Your mother would do that too sometimes... ah, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Shoichi gently smiled, he was really okay with bringing up this topic now. "It's a good thing that she taught me this, huh?"

"Yeah... She was an excellent doctor."

"Thank you. I'm sure she would have been happy to hear this."

Yusaku blushed and hung his head in shame. The man's face was so calm and serene... despite the fact that the woman they were talking about had been already dead for quite awhile.

"Is it getting better?" Shoichi looked up at him, still smiling that smile.

"Uh... uh-huh."

The boy's cheeks reddened even worse. As usual, Kusanagi-san was so sweet and kind to him that he unwillingly remembered.

That hide and seek game he saw in his dream... no, that was actually not a dream. It was a far-away memory that transmitted directly into the sleeping phase of his brain. A gentle sunlight engulfed that memory of Yusaku. That memory when the little he was terrified as he faced the world unknown after being freed from that shady facility. That memory when long time ago a boy named Kusanagi Shoichi rescued him from the darkness, helped him to walk out of the labyrinth of his confusion.

" _Thank goodness!_   _At last I've found you, Yusaku. Hide and seek is my specialty._ "

That boy who was a total stranger, and yet, looking at his clumsy smile, dirty face and slightly torn because of the shrubbery clothes, Yusaku felt as if a sun beam reached out to him through all the cold and scary darkness. Someone absolutely unknown but surprisingly kind moved little Yusaku to tears. Tears of happiness...

"Kusanagi-san..."

"Mm? Huh?" the man blinked as Yusaku leaned forward and wrapped his arms around his neck, holding onto him so close.

The feeling of strong arms wrapping around him as well gave Yusaku a flutter in his heart. He was not mistaken after all. This man who was holding him so tight was also the one who sated his soul hungry for love. Kusanagi Shoichi was the only one who was able to provide protection and warmth to him.

Yes, this was truly it.

Yusaku was protected by his beloved.

"Kusanagi-san?" he pulled away for a moment to look right into the man's gray eyes.

"What's up?" he was interrupted before he could even blink.

Yusaku locked their lips in a soft kiss, sliding his fingers in the man's purple hair. Shoichi deepened the kiss and wrapped his arms around his lover even tighter. They had been sitting like this, tasting each other sweetness, before the man, not breaking their lips contact, pushed lightly onto Yusaku, tenderly laying him down back on his pillow.

"I love you, Kusanagi-san," the boy whispered as his beloved had to pull away to let him breathe. His big eyes were beautifully sparkling with playful beams of the morning sun.

"I love you too, Yusaku," Shoichi lovingly put his hand on the boy's cheek and giggled as he nuzzled softly against it.

The alarm clock startled them, having broke their idyll, as it let them know it was almost 9 A.M.

"Oh geez," Shoichi started looking for his hoodie.

"Are you leaving now?" Yusaku was still laying in bed and watching the man dressing up.

"Yeah," he sighed. "I need to get to work after all. You're the lucky one. It's Sunday, so no classes today and you can rest."

"I thought we were going to further analyze him," the boy looked at Ai who was still sleeping or pretending to at the top of his Duel Disc.

"You _need_ to rest," Shoichi frowned slightly as he put on his trench coat. "We'll analyze the little guy tonight, but for the time being you must replenish your stamina. Yesterday's duel was not a joke. Don't worry, it doesn't seem that your favorites Hanoi are going to run away from you. Not now, that's for sure."

"Fine. When will you be back then?"

"I think by six o'clock."

"By six?"

"By six."

"Not a deal. Make it by four."

"Huh? By four? What about by five? If you really want me earlier?"

"By four."

"But..."

"By four."

"Geez Louise," Shoichi sighed heavily as he facepalmed. "Alright then, you stubborn ass!"

Yusaku puffed his cheeks and, having turned his head to the side, crossed his arms as the man laughed, smooched him on forehead and ruffled his bangs.

"I'll be back by four," as he passed by a table in the corner Shoichi patted Roboppy's head, waking the robot up from her sleeping mode. "Be good and behave well."

"Are you talking to me or her?" Yusaku chuckled, watching the small maid blinking.

"To you, love," the man smiled as he was about to leave and looked over his shoulder. "Rest well. Oh, and you obviously have some assignments. It's your chance to deal with them."

"Yeah-yeah," the boy closed his eyes and turned onto his other side. "After I sleep for another hour. Bye."

"See ya." Shoichi chuckled and left the apartment.

~~~

The morning was nice and sunny, but as Shoichi was driving further away from Yusaku's place the entire world started growing gloomier along with the man's face. He was desperately trying to pay his attention on the road, but his sight was gradually becoming blurry as reality morphed into the world of his memories. Luckily, Shoichi quickly came back to his senses when an auto behind his truck signaled. The man let it pass by, but his thoughts overwhelmed him once more.

"So you're this confident to fight the Knights of Hanoi, huh..?" he whispered to himself, Yusaku's stern face resurfaced from the depths his aching heart.

A little boy back then Fujiki Yusaku was kept at the neuropsychiatry clinic for quite awhile. Special Rescue Forces delivered the kid after saving him from the fire that occurred at a certain facility. The boy didn't have any serious injuries, but the prior examination detected some problems with his mental state, thus he ended up in the clinic that belonged to Shoichi's mother. To tell the truth, saying _some_ problems would be inconsiderate. The problems were big, _very_ big.

Fujiki Yusaku... No, they weren't even sure if that was the kid's real name. That little boy could barely remember anything about himself at all. As if his consciousness was like a mirror that broke and lots of its pieces were missing. And those remaining pieces, sharp shards, were cutting deeply into Shoichi and his mother's hearts whenever the child would mention that he had no idea where were his home, mom and dad, instead he could only briefly remember some shady people in white clothes forcing him to do stuff that would almost literary burn his little brain, causing terrible migraines. Little Yusaku's psyche was heavily damaged, that was for sure: he would often go from the state of catatonic stupor to severe hysteria. That tiny boy would scream and cry as he slept, sometimes he even had to be tied to his bed so that he wouldn't try to scratch himself like he would do from time to time. Shoichi could clearly remember all of it and that along with the nasty smell of strong sedative drugs was making him sick every time.

But how much Shoichi's mother doted on Yusaku! There were moments when Shoichi found that _very_ suspicious. Sure, the kid was quite problematic, but as the head doctor mother had plenty of other responsibilities. Why would she suddenly care so much about one particular patient when there were also others as well? Not to mention why would she specifically ask her own son to keep that child a company? No, that was actually not a problem at all. When Yusaku was not in one of his abnormal conditions he was a truly adorable and cute kid. He and Shoichi grew very close to each other as the time went by. And yeah, Yusaku's mental state improved much as well. Was the reason of it that his friendship with the older boy, Shoichi, helped? That was sort of confusing, but the result was the only thing that mattered, right?

Despite that though Shoichi was still very much surprised when his mother decided to take a custody over Yusaku when his condition became normalized to the point where he could go home.

He did have home, didn't he..?

That question was left unanswered since mother still took Yusaku in their house, basically having made him a part of their family.

Family... 

Ah, that was the word which had been causing Shoichi's heart to ache so badly that sometimes he simply couldn't hold back tears. The worst part of it, he wasn't sure if those were the tears of grief or happiness.

That, of course, was Yusaku's fault. Ever since he started living with them Shoichi notice some changes in his mother. She seemed so joyful whenever she was with the kid, her beautiful smile reminded the one of a little girl, her eyes were shining like bright stars and overall the poor neurotic woman seemed to become much younger again.

And yet... Behind this pious and halcyon facade of his mother Shoichi could catch occasional signs of darkness. And that darkness was way too familiar to him as well. Every time he would pat Yusaku's head and mess his bangs, fool around with him during daytime and snuggle with him in one bed during night he would feel the same.

As if there were a huge black hole in the place where his heart was supposed to be.

Cold.

So cold.

Scary.

So very scary.

Painful.

So unbearably painful.

And from the bottom of that dark abyss, from Yusaku's adorable emerald eyes, the one who was looking at him... was Shoichi's little brother.

Yes. Shoichi sort of realized that little Yusaku was in some way a substitute, replacing, filling that black hole left in his and his mother's hearts after their family broke apart.

Yusaku was a source of precious sunlight that had been gone from their life for so long.

Suddenly, the grown-up Shoichi shuddered as he heard another auto signaling from behind. Having let it through, he dived into his anxiety again.

But if he came to love Yusaku that much, _why_ the hell was he okay with letting him risk his neck in those life-or-death duels against Hanoi?

When Shoichi grew older he finally managed to get his mother talking about everything, about her sudden divorce with his father, about her constant conflicts with his younger brother and why would she out of the blue take in some absolutely unrelated to them kid.

The truth appeared to be something Shoichi could have _never_ expected.

It literally turned his worldview, his definitions of black and white completely upside down.

It all began when his father started working with SOL Technologies on that particular project. Mother had been peacefully working at her clinic when one day father started bringing some young kids for her to examine. For some reason he insisted that only she alone would do that and no one else. That was the first bell for mother. The second bell was that father gave very brief information on the kids and demanded all results of the examinations to remain in secret. And what disturbed mother even more was the fact that all of those little patients had similar symptoms, deviations in their psyche. Mother never explained it to Shoichi in details in order not to overload him with medical terms, but she described it as "those children's brains were partially disconnected from reality and there were signs of heavy psychological programming". That was enough for Shoichi to become seriously worried and he felt his heart sinking as mother told him that she discovered the same symptoms in his younger brother after observing him secretly from father. And indeed. After all, brother _was_ taking part in father's researches. Moreover, father's demeanor became so shady, to the point where he told mother that he was bringing those children to her while keeping it in secret even from his own employers, SOL. 

And that was the last drop. 

Mother became so frightened that father started some... inhuman experiments and her own son was obviously somehow involved in them that she decided to end it once and for all. She demanded divorce and was ready to fight to death for her kids' well-being. She fully expected father to cause severe obstacles because why would he let his test subject go so easily? But, surprisingly, he did. Mother took both of her sons from her ex-husband. She even planned to get herself fired and move somewhere else, but... during their very last contact father told her that he would end everything himself and quite soon.

That made mother outrightly terrified. She knew that she was actually trapped with a noose around her neck. Father was working with SOL, SOL were in charged of everything in their city including police. What if she tried to ask them for help and they would tell SOL? And were those employers of her husband _really_ unaware about possible human experimentations? What if her husband was actually trying to deceive her and drag her into this shit too? And even if he wasn't, how would SOL react to the fact that an outsider was somehow aware of their dark deeds? And they _would_  have known if she ever tried to go to police... Or perhaps they _already_ knew and was waiting for her to try and escape the city, thus blowing her cover? What would they do to her and her children in that case..?

Such a tangle of contradictions had been making the poor woman go crazy. Her brain was so overloaded with speculations that were one worse than another that she basically fell into catatonic stupor. She mindlessly kept on living as terror was eating on her mind. And aside from that she learned that her younger son was still in touch with his father, secretly from her of course.

To say that mother was furious at him for this would mean to say nothing.

It was a real war.

Mother just couldn't comprehend that.

How? How could her younger child for whose sake she cut all of her connections to that man, _how_ in the world could he disobey her so defiantly? And on top of that even dare to say right into her face that father was an innocent victim of some freaking circumstances?!

Sure thing mother's mind and heart were having a hard time accepting such heavy blows one after another.

And the heaviest of them was, of course, the boy's disappearance.

Despite her paranoia and anxiety mother still chose to believe that her child, nonetheless  _beloved_ child was kidnapped. Taken, snatched away by that horrible man. And if that was not enough, _what if he was being experimented on?_ And she was _completely_ unable to help him? Because what could _she_ , a fragile single woman, to do against SOL who had their powers over _everything_?

An ordeal unbearable for any mother's sanity.

Perhaps, as Shoichi initially thought, that's why she took in Yusaku? Because she felt guilt for not being able to protect her own kid? The truth appeared to be just that, but partially. Because there was something more about Fujiki Yusaku than met the eye at first.

Mother told that Yusaku was one of the children that father brought to her for the examination. The boy was the last and the hardest in terms of sanity kid, so she was able to memorize him. Plus, she had photographic memory when it came to humans' faces. Also, she suspected that since father kept most of kids' personal info secret, could that have possibly meant that those children were kidnapped from their families and forced into experiments? The problems with Yusaku's psyche and memories sort of suggested it.

Thus, the boy was taken into their family because he needed protection. Shoichi's mom actually did try to conduct her own investigation regarding the child's origins, but, alas, it fell flat. Nobody in Den City seemed to look for Yusaku. So, maybe, he was from somewhere else? The woman had no idea. Besides, she grew to be too paranoid to trust anyone else with the investigation, so everything she could do for Yusaku was to take care of him. And she just felt at least a bit of solace of having that little sunshine in her gloomy life.

It was the same for Shoichi too.

Whenever he was a young boy or as he grew into a grown-ass man he was now he always felt the need to protect Yusaku.

No, not like that.

It was his first and foremost " _must_ ".

This feeling grew especially acute after a certain thing happened.

Not so long before Shoichi's mother died... Ah yes. Shoichi could never forget that day. It happened when he was in the third grade of his high school. He came home as usual when suddenly he saw his mother laying on a coach in living room. Shoichi immediately thought it was weird because mother was usually at work at that hour, but then he remembered that she took a day off due to not feeling very well for a few days before that. And it really seemed like the woman was simply taking a nap... but as Shoichi looked closer his heart skipped a beat. His mother was not breathing.

The cause of her death was a brain aneurysm. Apparently, it had been developing for quite a while due to chronic depression. Anxiety akin to an invisible monster had been eating the poor woman from inside and eventually killed her.

Shoichi remembered that day as if it was a nightmare. He was crying, hysterically trying to wake his mom up as he kept on shaking her shoulders, then he barely managed to dial the number of ambulance as his fingers were uncontrollably shaking, then Yusaku came along and they were crying together as they held each other tight when doctors confirmed her death... but what Shoichi remembered the most was that when he found his mother, she was holding their old family photo.

Yes, the photo where she, Shoichi, his brother and father were still so happy.

That memento which he tore into pieces afterwards.

Mother's death became a huge turning point in lives of Shoichi and Yusaku. The woman was Yusaku's guardian and when she was there no more the question about the boy's fate became a big problem. Fortunately, by that time Shoichi had already become cunning enough to pull out his great machination. He immediately dropped out from his high school, yes, it was his very last year too, and that was when he stepped on his dark and dangerous path of a hacker. He hacked right into government's data base and in every piece of his personal info "fixed" his age to be exactly twenty. Why? To be able to take over mother's guardianship over Yusaku who was just finishing his middle school. Also, that was how he was able to trick officials about giving him his driving license and permission for his job. As for his infamous Cafe Nagi, their "hackers' hideout", Shoichi sacrificed all the money originally intended for his university, plus he sold the apartment where they used to live with mother for the sake of all those super equipment in the truck. The little sum that was left went onto renting that small shitty apartment for Yusaku and Shoichi to live in. Or, rather, Yusaku was the only one who actually resided there. Shoichi, despite paying the rent and Yusaku's frequent persuasions, preferred to give the boy his own personal space and he was okay with sleeping on a cot in his truck anyway.

Yes. Shoichi had basically thrown his entire life to Yusaku's feet.

At this very moment too as he was yawning, being hella tired.

Before he treated Yusaku with the breakfast in bed Shoichi had been spending several hours awake as he had been taking down all the latest footages of Playmaker. It was Shoichi's usual job after every single of his duels. The more photos or videos of Playmaker were in the net the higher were chances their cover could have been blown up, and they could never allow that.

Yeah, Shoichi could never allow anything endanger Yusaku.

Yusaku, this blunt and stubborn Sunshine, his safety was Shoichi's top priority.

And yet, as he arrived at his usual spot in the plaza, he could not help but spend some time before opening his stand thinking.

Thinking... agonizing would have been a better word to describe his state of mind.

It was true that Shoichi was ready to do everything, he had no problems with being a literal stray dog or a large-scale cyber criminal if it was for Yusaku, for his satisfaction, for his shining eyes, for his smile.

But at the same time a nasty worm of inner conflict kept on eating the man's heart, leaving bleeding and rotten holes, almost tearing it into tiny pieces.

The name of that worm was _Guilt_.

Not only because Yusaku had to risk his own life while battling Knights of Hanoi.

Rather, why the boy was forced to do this.

Right.

 _Forced_.

And the one responsible for this was none other than Shoichi himself.

Even though the man hypocritically tried to reassure himself that everything was okay, he was always there to back up Playmaker and boy was fired up himself in his quest of fighting Hanoi and finding out about past anyway...

Wrong.

It was definitely _not_ okay.

"What a paranoid egotist I am..." Shoichi whispered as he wiped the first tear that rolled down his cheek.

And the paranoid egotist he truly was. 

Paranoid because he too much feared losing Yusaku, his unending trust and deep love.

Egotist because, well...

Guilt was suffocating Shoichi the entire time he was watching that duel against Revolver. As Playmaker was struggling in the deadly battle, Shoichi couldn't take his eyes off Hanoi's leader. He kept staring at that almost completely unreadable, alien-like face that gave off strong demonic vibes and... Shoichi was praying.

" _I hope that wasn't you... lil bro._ "

Was this a pure insanity on his part to think of that out of the blue?

No. It wasn't.

Because this was the hidden worm inside Shoichi. This was his forbidden fruit of discord which he never dared to share with Yusaku.

Coincidentally, not long before his mother passed away, Shoichi received an anonymous message. It was surprisingly skillfully coded, but he immediately recognized the cipher that he and his younger brother used in the past when they were imagining themselves to be spies and exchanged messages "top secret" from their mom. Both boys were intelligent far beyond their years, so nobody could decipher the code but them.

It seemed as if the entire universe stopped as Shoichi finished translating the message. Even after so much time he still held tightly onto his hopes that his little brother was alive and well and if he somehow managed to contact him, could it have been that the brothers would finally reunite?

Right and wrong.

What that boy told him shattered Shoichi's mind into hundreds of sharp pieces that cut right into his heart, having made his old wounds open again.

First of all, brother confirmed mother's story about father being involved in certain inhuman researches on behalf of SOL Technologies. Those experimentations were conducted on kids, orphans and kidnapped from their families. The boy himself had been taking part in them as a test subject too. But! That's where narration changed drastically from mother's version. The ultimate goal of those experiments was to create an absolutely new type of Artificial Intelligence. Kids, the test subjects, were forced into virtual duels against AIs in order to link their minds and, thus, teach those AIs sentience. Why were young children involved in these researches and not adults? Because it was a wide-known fact that childrens‘ emotional side, their power of imagination, which was the most important component needed, greatly exceeded those of adults' in efficiency. But there was an important nuance. Children that were forced into experimentations were those who already had a certain innate ability, so-called Link Sense, that were crucial for the research. Shoichi's brother had that ability too, so that's how he got involved in the first place.

As for their father's role in all of that... that was where Shoichi completely lost a thread of common sense in his brother's words.

From the very beginning father was not happy with innocent children being forced to be test subjects, but he couldn't go against SOL, besides, he himself was very intrigued by the possibility of creating AIs with a free will. But as the time went on he realized how much of _a catastrophe_ he caused. Yes, eventually a new kind of sentient AIs was born, they inhabited a place inside the network called Cyberse. That drastically increased SOL's power and led to developing the LINK VRAINS system, having made it as perfect as it was, but... the price was too horrible. The children's mental state that had been already damaged due to stress of being kidnapped and constantly pressured into experimentations grew worse and worse. Eventually, it got to the point where certain psychological programmings like giving them "courage" were no longer working on some of those kids. Constant stimulation of their Link Sense through VR dueling also made a horrific effect on poor little ones' brains. Some children, after their Link Sense got stimulated too much, lost their ability to differentiate between reality and virtuality, they literally merged in their eyes. It was so severe that it had even caused some kids develop visual agnosia, an impairment in visual recognition the world around them. Their eyes could no longer recognize whether it was reality or virtually in front of them, and, of course, that led to rapid decrease in the childrens' sanity. Their agnosia caused them to believe that the world around them was a disgusting hellish pit and all the humans were in reality nightmarish monsters. Thus, those kids would often become hysterical, try to hurt other children, "monsters", and there was even an incident when one of the insane kids, a girl, tried to prickle her own eyes. And before that another child, a boy, also tried to cut Shoichi's brother with scissors as he labeled him "a monster".

SOL Technologies though never cared about such incidents, even worse, they _demanded_ those experimentations to continue. And that made Shoichi's father seriously question his doings for such a, ironically, soulless company's benefit. He was also very worried about other kids' mental state. That was exactly why he took the risk of partially involving his wife in this. But of course she was a very wise woman and a caring mother. When she got the idea what was her husband doing and her maternal instinct kicked in she made the best choice. Yes, and that choice was divorce. And, to be honest, Shoichi's father accepted that and was even relieved in some way. If that was the best way to protect their children then...

But after that he finally decided to battle against SOL. First of all, the man seriously jeopardized the entire project by setting the research facility on fire. The very same fire from which Yusaku was rescued, realized Shoichi. 

But what about Shoichi's brother though? Why did he disappear?

The boy confessed in his anonymous message to his older brother that it was entirely his fault, father did not "kidnap" him like mother could have thought, and like she _actually_ thought. After the divorce the kid despite anything, even mother's scoldings, kept himself in touch with dad. He loved him after all and didn't want him to be lonely. Thus, they communicated for awhile until... until one day father told that it would have been better if they stopped that. Only after the boy's constant demands to explain the reason properly the man gave up. He told that SOL was quite vindictive, his former employers were ready to punish him for his sabotage of their plans any moment. He was, however, skillful enough to hide for them for awhile, but...

That was the moment when Shoichi's brother was forced to chose between mother and father.

Mother's peace of mind or father's very life... of course, the boy chose the latter. That's why he ran away. It was his own free will.

In that message to Shoichi his brother also told him that he and father started their organization in order to battle SOL and destroy that demonic abomination, Cyberse that was born through innocent victims' suffering. They named their organization the Knights of Hanoi. The boy also told Shoichi that he and father were residing away from Den City, so if he wanted to join them... no, they would have understand if he refused, but still they would have appreciated if Shoichi replied to that message. His brother could have arrived in Den City and...

And then Shoichi became so furious that he destroyed the message without a second thought.

" _Idiot! You idiot!_ " his mother's crying voice echoed from the depths of his memories. " _What kind of a child are you?! You're just like your father! A cruel child! You... Why do you think I became so cruel to you?! I... I thought about you two... That's why I separated you from that man by force! And yet you want to be with him again... Do you want to make yourself go to hell so badly?!"_

"You were right, mom," Shoichi whispered to nobody. "My lil bro _is_ an idiot."

He thought so because he _never_ believed what the kid told him.

Because what a bullshit.

Did the boy really believe that man's story? Wasn't he actually being _manipulated_ into that shit? How could he be so sure that the old man tore his contacts with SOL completely? That the kid would not become a test subject all over again?

Okay, so far Shoichi had learned that so called Knights of Hanoi had been a trouble for SOL Technologies because of their obvious terroristic actions towards LINK VRAINS. But that's from where another question was born. Was father _totally okay_ with making his own child a criminal? If they dared to face SOL directly, wouldn't it be a life-or-death battle? If the company was truly that evil and vindictive...

As he was about to open his stand Shoichi flinched and nervously chuckled at his own thoughts.

But that was _exactly_ what he was doing to Yusaku too, right? Making him fight against the Knights of Hanoi...

" _Wrong_ ," the man shook his head, thinking this to himself. " _That's not like it._ "

Unlike what his father was supposedly doing to his younger brother, manipulating, Shoichi so far had been doing nothing but _helping_ Yusaku.

That's right.

Because Yusaku _himself_ always wanted to uncover the truth about his past.

No, Shoichi realized it all too well that the truth could potentially hurt the boy even more, especially if his brother was right about all those experimentations...

But then again, if Shoichi's old man was _really_ the one responsible for Yusaku's ruined childhood and crippled soul... _wouldn't it have been perfect if Yusaku could actually get his revenge, just like he desired?_

No again, Shoichi knew that the boy endangered himself every time he dueled against Hanoi and that was making the man's heart ache, it was like burning in hell alive as he watched Playmaker being in a trouble, but...

After all, _Shoichi_ was the one who told Yusaku about those who hurt him in the past. Sure, he kinda twisted the story about it being the Knights of Hanoi, but honestly? If his father used to be in charge of that inhuman project and right now he was involved with Hanoi, then it was not actually a lie?

Anyway, no matter who it was, SOL, Knights of Hanoi or the Devil himself, the only thing that mattered to Shoichi was Yusaku and Yusaku alone. Shoichi could never forgive _anyone_ who ever made his Sunshine suffer. Why?

Because it was not a delusion. Shoichi knew it. Ever since his life crumbled into pieces because of his father's doings, mother's neurosis and brother's foolishness, from then on Yusaku became the only one for him. Shoichi had always loved and adored him and how happy he was when he reciprocated those feelings, when Yusaku said that he had always loved him too. Of course, the boy's confession about wanting to become Shoichi's groom in the future still seemed a bit weird, but even so the sincerity, the love in those adorable eyes were...

Nevertheless, Shoichi always felt guilty. Even though he told the boy that he knew who hurt him he still not told him _the whole_ truth. Why is that? 

Because Shoichi wanted to distance himself from his no-good relatives. Because what would have Yusaku thought if he knew about the relation of his beloved to the man who basically destroyed his life? Sure thing, as they would have gotten closer to Hanoi in the future, he would have learned about that small detail, but, alas, Shoichi was indeed enough of a paranoid egotist to conceal it just for now.

" _Everything for my Sunshine's love,_ " Shoichi thought as he began another day at his "official" work as a hot dog vendor.

But behind those cheerful smiles for his clients the man felt very bitter.

" _Revolver..._ "

Revolver, Revolver.

The leader of the Knights of Hanoi.

Just _who_ exactly was he?

Shoichi had two possible options and both of them were sending shivers down his spine.

Could it have been his father behind that mask? Did he actually become that much of a top-notch duelist and not only a profound scientist?

Or, Shoichi feared that even worse, his little brother? After conducting dangerous experiment on children father could have easily forced that naive boy into such a role...

" _You foolish kid,_ " Shoichi sighed heavily.

Deep inside he still hoped that his little bro was just manipulated by their father, that he could have been saved from this darkness that was the father's influence. Shoichi also refuced to accept that the boy was partially guilty in their mother's heartbreak, that his betrayal damaged her fragile health and sent her to her grave so early. No, Shoichi _definitely_ refused to believe it! Mother had always loved her younger son, no matter how stupid he was. Was Shoichi any worse than her? No way. Despite all the odds he firmly chose to believe his little brother, believe that he was just an innocent victim, father's puppet. Shoichi even started all this deal with capturing and analyzing Ai because he wanted to make sure that the boy was right.

But alas, there were times when Shoichi seriously doubted his brother's innocence. That kid had always been a daddy boy, so...

"Damn it!" Shoichi hissed and winced in pain.

He was torn apart. 

If his little brother was indeed doing everyting of his own accord, if he was the one who threatened Yusaku, Shoichi's most precious person... then unfortunately there was only one way to go for him. Just like their father that boy would have been....

" _Yusaku..._ " Shoichi's eyes became moist as he was staring at his trembling hands and gritting his teeth. " _How will I serve you your favorite hot dogs in the future? With these blood-stained hands of mine..?_ "

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah... And after writing this fic I seriously started to wonder who the main villains are?


End file.
